Dear CAMRA, this is Planet Earth. Come and visit us some time

Just wondering if the people at CAMRA ever visit Planet Earth once in a while? I ask the question as a media tip-off has revealed that the intro to the 2015 Beer Guide – not published until this time next week, but I do have some good contacts – categorically states that (and I quote) ‘…the pub trade is finally booming after years of doom and gloom’.  Booming, no less…. oh aye?  Is that the view of the recently-departed gaffers of the Lakes or the Cavalier, or the Coppertops, due to close at Christmas? Or those of the 30-odd pubs calling ‘time’ for the last time every week? Or, come that, anybody else with half a brain-cell to see what’s actually going on – with the singular exception of Tim Martin, boss of Wetherspoons who, I gather uses a Securicor van to get around these days? All along I’ve said that they should make ME the editor of the once vaguely-reliable beer guide.  Then again, I’ve said the same thing about being Ayatollah of England.  In both cases I’d make some changes, I can tell you. Every single one of them for the better.  You see…