Dear Marstons…

Dear Marstons, having a lovely beery time here in sunny Worcester, but may I ask you a direct question – like, is everything still the same between us? I ask as I can’t help but feel you’re losing your grip on reality. The notion struck me yesterday when, it being a sunshiny sort of day and with nothing much better to do, I visited three local hostelries. Thinking of you and the pleasures we still share, I was quite content to sit back and watch the world go by – much as I always did. Sadly, there wasn’t much to see as everything seems to have ground to a halt. I suppose I could also have said ‘people-watching’, but seeing as your former friends and lovers have deserted you, I just watched the flowers growing instead. Now the reason I’m utterly convinced you’ve totally lost your marbles is that precisely the same pint in The Blackpole cost £2.49; in The New Inn £2.59; and in The Mug House £3.30. Of course I’m well aware that The Mug House is tenanted, unlike the other two that are managed, but would you forgive me for thinking that the only possible explanation for the wild difference in prices is that you have actually gone quite mad. What other logical explanation could there possibly be for you not to have recognised that: a) these prices are quite unsustainable; b) there’s no earthly justification for a 10p difference between the two managed pubs, both selling the same product, both under the same conditions, just a mile or two apart – aside from pure greed; and c) the price you charge your tenants makes it just a matter of time before the very last one chucks it all in for a game of soldiers. And then where will you be? Up the creek sans a paddle. Can you realistically wonder I’ve come to the conclusion that you have additionally developed suicidal tendencies on top of everything else? Until you see that the only reason people don’t go into pubs any more is because of the prices you charge, you’ll just continue on the road that leads to nowhere. It’s time that you owned-up to the fact that you’re playing right into the hands of Mr. Tim Martin and his #Wetherspoon chain and that while you continue to cut your own throats, it won’t be long before he’ll be the only one left standing. Hate to labour the point, but I have a third major concern too… that you are leaving yourself open to some grave charges under the Defence of the Realm Act. While you’re allowing the criminal spate of pub closures to continue unabated, you’re actively changing the face of Britain and destroying a critical factor that’s played a massive part in making the nation ‘Great’. Now there are those – and I have to say, I’m one of them – who genuinely think that that’s tantamount to treason which, don’t forget, remains a hanging offence. So think on, please. You’re doing yourself no favours and as I see it, are on a very slippery slope unless you get a grip and mend your ways. Anyway, must close now. Hope this postcard finds you as it leaves me. Love, Bob B